Some people say they are proud of me or they don't know how I do it. Living with dystonia, gastroparesis and chronic pain is not easy, but I do it because I have to. I could lay around at home taking my SSDI payments and watching soap operas all day, but for me that would not be living. It would be a depressing crappy life that I don't want. So I am doing what I have to in order to live the life I want. I desire peace, happiness and joy in life. To achieve that I must take my life and suffering as it comes. I do my best to endure the suffering and enjoy each minute of happiness and success that I find in each day. I try to live in the moment. It is the only way to survive and live life to the fullest.
Yesterday I had a dystonic attack at work in the lab. Another graduate student was using a tone to train his mice that had a very high frequency and triggered my attack. I have had mild attacks at work before, but never a full body severe attack like I had yesterday. As usual I had to convince people not to call the paramedics. Attacks are very scary to people who see them because they look like seizures only I am conscious. I managed to calm everyone down and get some medications to help get the dystonia under control. We also stopped the tone of course. Unfortunately once an attack is triggered it usually takes a while for me to recover. Luckily I was doing a lot better after about a half hour or so. I think I am just a bit more prone to having attacks since my recent problems with the gastroparesis. My body is just stressed a bit and can't handle as much as before I had this flare up of the tummy troubles.
Today I am feeling better and I'm taking some time to read and work on a paper I am trying to get published. Life goes on and for the time being I am managing fairly well. Peace to all, Jen
The picture is my son's first snowman. He was so proud.
Labels: dissertation, dystonia, pain, peace, tummy
